Many people experience anxiety in the bedroom. This anxiety can range from performance anxiety to worrying about what one’s partner will think of them. Performance anxiety is often seen in inexperienced people who feel like they don’t know what they’re doing or that their partner will think less of them if they don’t perform well. These feelings can be difficult to overcome, but it’s important to understand that everyone has various levels of sexual experience and no two people are exactly alike when it comes to sexual performance.
It’s estimated that one-third of the population has experienced performance anxiety in bed. This type of sexual dysfunction is often caused by unrealistic expectations, mental health problems, and lack of self-confidence.
Performance anxiety can lead to increased stress and increased levels of cortisol in the body. It can also cause a person to feel embarrassed and shameful.
Are You Manly Enough
Let us debunk a little bit some of our most dear assumptions about what men are supposed to be, and supposed to feel when it comes to sex.
The untiring masterful dominant who can go all night hard like a steel ,makes any woman beg for his cock and anything short of that, starts to make you question, you know am i a man ,as if it’s always a biological force in constant pursuit of an outlet ready to go at any moment ,and it’s high time that we stop with the oversimplification of men and the over complication of women.
So here are a few things that I think that men and women are also experiencing the consequence of their inner state,and how it affects their sexual desire or their sexual interest.
If you are depressed, if you are anxious, if you are worried, if you struggle with your self-esteem ,if you feel lesser than you would want.
All of these inner states will influence how you experience sexuality no different from any other human being.
It has always been an interconnection between how I feel about my desire,my interest, and how I feel about my inner life.
Here are three essential male vulnerabilities that I think really captures something that many men grapple with.
Fear Of Rejection
The fear of rejection you know every man knows that they have to be the initiator if you are constantly an initiator you deal with the worries about the rejection, so the fear of rejection ,that is an inner state.
The Fear Of Inadequacy
Am i competent enough, do I know what I’m doing, how can I be less than a stud in bed.
Trying To Read Her Mind
How do I know that my partner really enjoys it? What is that mystery of this other creature who I can never really know what she really feels, because she can actually always fake it.
These three masculine doubts around sexuality, deeply affect your anxiety level.
Don’t just think about having to do the entire experience called sex as an act, just think about how you can put yourself in a place where you’re not in your head and more in your body ,and you’re not asking yourself the whole time ,am i manly enough, that kind of thoughts will constantly take you out of the experience, rather than just simply ground you in your body ,and in the moment ,so in some way ,I would say stop thinking for a bit and let your cock do the work.
How To Deal With Sexual Performance Anxiety?
Worrying about outcome blocks performance, and sexual performance anxiety is no different.
This happens in any sphere of life sex needs to be of course relaxed spontaneous and fun a chance to deepen intimacy.
Instead many men feel it’s a test of their manhood somehow that test can be passed or failed, and that’s the problem, when you view it as a test.
Sex isn’t just about performance of course it’s not just about meeting standards or deadlines.
Sexual performance anxiety rears its head during most men’s sex lives, it can cause avoidance of sex altogether, as well as damaging self-esteem and confidence, in non-sexual parts of life.
Life Health Check
What’s going on outside the bedroom, if you feel anxious and stressed generally in your life, then this can easily filter into your sex life.
Stress can come in disguise of too much alcohol, coffee, or tobacco. As well as you working too hard, or never taking time out to relax.
It can be hard to change focus enough to just go with the flow and enjoy sex as it can feel like the final to do at the end of a long tiring day of chores, so take steps to erase as many stresses as possible or at least the way you deal with them, start to relax, exercise and take time out for non-competitive fun.
Simply extract the anxiety from sexual performance stop seeing sex as something you have to do well, think of something you did that you enjoyed which felt easy ,every activity needs some time of warming up ,and this applies to sex as well.
Check Your State Of Mind
How to use your mind, it’s truly been said that the biggest sexual organ is the brain, and it’s wrong to think sex is just physical attitudes, and the way your mind is focused, have a huge impact on your sexual experience, your levels of arousal need to be just right sometimes.
Sexual excitement and arousal can spill over into anxiety ,so you need just the right level of excitement blended with a confident sense of let’s relax ,and see what happens.
You also need to focus on the girl, that you’re fucking not just yourself, to encourage those wonderful moments in which you feel totally connected.
Times when there’s no longer you and her but us ,when you drift into this altered state,all thoughts on performance vanish.
There’s only now this moment and the self is forgotten, as you blend totally with what you’re doing, and who you’re with.
Future and past ,sort of disappear, which means that, so too does anxiety about what might or might not happen.
Stop Being Responsible
When it comes to sex be responsible as far as safe sex goes, but if you don’t feel horny, it’s not your fault, so you shouldn’t feel responsible, it’s no one’s fault at all.
Sexual responsiveness is governed by the unconscious part of the mind, it’s not completely under your control ,so you can relax about it and of course the more you relax about it, the easier and more natural it’s going to feel.
As an exercise you can close your eyes and imagine feeling relaxed and happy.
Enjoy each other, avoiding sex tends to increase sexual performance anxiety, because avoidance, fools your mind into feeling greater fear of whatever it is that you’re avoiding, but there are many physical pleasures to enjoy with your partner, such as caressing,cuddling,kissing, fucking is a part, but by no means all of the experience.
Women report loving the affection and closeness of hugging and holding whilst naked, as much as or even more than the act of sex itself.
So focus on these aspects of your physical relationship and let sex be a byproduct of that.
Sex isn’t an olympic sport it’s a way of communicating sexual.
Again performance anxiety stops when you stop seeing sex as a performance, take time to enjoy the moment and just see what happens.